Birthday in Heaven and Earth

Sunday, 19 May 2002

We just got home from a birthday party. A very different birthday party because this young boy who would have been eleven today now lives in heaven. If they celebrate earthly birthdays in heaven, this would have been his 4th one there, having gone home at the age of seven.

This may seem strange to you, or maybe you've heard of others doing this, having a birthday party for someone who is no longer here. I don't think I have ever been to a party like this before, but I have to say it gave me so much encouragement. To watch my friend celebrate the life of her son, to see his brother cutting the birthday cake, to see the friends and family that had gathered to celebrate this day, and to know where God has brought my friend. I did not know her when her son died. We only met two years ago when I shared with her about Phil's illness and she begin to pray for him as our friendship grew. She prayed for me also, for my family. If you know what a prayer warrior is, she is one. We joke with her that she has a direct line to God. I have never known anyone with a faith so strong or with prayers so powerful. I'll tell you, she's a good friend to have around!

The night Phil died, she was going to bring over some CD's we could play for him. As I lying with Phil on his bed that evening, Jim came into the room and I told him to please call my friend and tell her that we wouldn't be needing the CD's tonight because Phil was going to sleep. He walked out of the room and I called him back...I then told him to also tell my friend to pray for Phil to be able to go home. That Phil was ready, we had asked God to take him home, and would she please pray that for him also. Jim went and made the phone call. I didn't talk to my friend until later, but when I did, she told me that was the most difficult prayer she had ever had to pray in her life, she knew the pain we would experience, but she also knows how powerful prayers are and she didn't want to be the one holding Phil here if it was time for him to go. She faithfully changed her prayers that night and asked God to take Phil home if it was time...but if He didn't take him home that night, she would once again start praying in the morning for his healing. I called her at 3 a.m. to tell her Phil was gone. If any of you remember, this is the same friend whose son called me the next morning because he had missed the bus, and he needed a ride to school. As I sat on the edge of my bed and put my shoes and socks on, tears fell from my eyes as I told Jim that God knew I needed someone to take care of that morning. I went to pick up her son and as he got into the car, I told him that Phil was with his brother now. He said, "He died?", and I said, "Yes, last night". We rode in silence to his school. He understood. He had been there with his brother. He knew that pain. Just as my boys know now. They may be older, but they miss their brother just as this boy misses his.

Today, that very same boy said a beautiful prayer before he cut his brother's birthday cake and served it to the crowd that was there. My friend and her son and others shared funny and sad and touching stories of this precious boy's life. A life that ended way too soon, and way too quickly. She didn't have over 5 years to say good-bye. Her son died within 24 hours of getting sick. What a shock!! What a loss!! She wondered how she would ever carry on, and yet she knew.

God. God was her answer, and although she was a very new Christian at the time, she never turned her back on God. She continuously sought Him for help and for healing, and she continued to grow and learn and pray and hold fast to His promises.

Four years later....this woman could stand there and share about her son and smile and rejoice in the life he lived and encourage me, and I am so grateful for her and for our God, for His healing power in her life. She is a miracle to behold, and I'm so glad I was there to witness it. As we left the party, I told her how she encouraged me, and how I know when Phil's birthday comes in October there won't be a cake and I will probably spend the day with many tears, but I will remember today and I will know that a day will come when I will also be able to spend his birthday in this way. Rejoicing in the life he lived, with more tears of joy than sorrow. She understands this journey. Her walk through grief was not finished in a day or a week or in months. It has taken her years. She still sheds tears for her son, but so many of her memories now bring her joy. I need to see people like that. The ones who have made it through, who have survived the deepest, darkest valley of their life, and have come through on the other side.

Yesterday, I was listening to the song from the Bible verse Psalm 23. Most of you know it. It says "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me." I thought about those words and how Phil was walking through that valley towards the gates of heaven, and he had nothing to fear because he was going home. He knew where he was going, even if human words could not adequately describe how wonderful it is. We could tell him about it and what the Bible has to say about it. He could be comforted by words like that. I thought about it in another way. That I am in the valley of the shadow of death. That Phil's death has cast a shadow on my world, a darkness that likes to consume me with my missing of him. But this valley, his death, does not have to make me fear because just as Phil could look forward to heaven and all of God's promises, so can I. So can I. Yes, this is a journey through a dark valley, but it is a journey through. It does not have a dead end, so to speak, that I will come up against as long as I keep travelling through it, not getting stuck in the pitfalls of the evil one who would like to keep me here forever. Someday, I too can have a birthday cake for Phil and celebrate his earthly birthday, and remember all the funny and precious things he did while he was here without being crushed by the grief. I know that day will come, and my friend helps me to know that day will come because she so visibly displays the power of God's healing in her life. Believe me, she didn't start here. Her friends who knew her when her son died attested to that fact today. What they witnessed as she grieved for her son, they knew only God could take care of. How wonderful for them to see what He has done so far in her life. This is a journey through, and I have to keep remembering that on the days when it seems I will be here forever. God has a plan for my life. This is a road I have to travel, however painful, but I know it is a road that leads me to Him.

Down farther in Psalm 23, it says, "You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows."

There was a table prepared today, and what sat on it was a birthday cake that said Happy Birthday in heaven to this young boy, and "We miss you". A skateboard had been put on top because he loved skateboarding. This table had been prepared for a celebration...what does the evil one think of that scene? How frustrated he must be to know that his scheme to destroy a life, a family, has failed. That they still praise God and give Him all the glory. That their cup overflows with God's love, and goodness. The devil lost this one. He came to destroy and he only helped to build a faith in God. He came to crush, and he only succeeded in making them stronger! I know he may never understand it until the Lord comes back for all of us, or maybe he does get it and that is why he is trying so hard to destroy us while he can, but one day, Jesus will return and the devil will have had his "day in court". He will be destroyed and we will no longer have to deal with his mean, deceitful ways. All those he took from us will be returned in a great reunion, and when we are spending eternity together, he will be in the lake of fire for his eternity. It is good to know the victory is ours! The victory is ours!!

Until that time, we can still live victorious lives, just like my friend showed me today. That is what I desire! I'm too stubborn to let the devil have this round. Take my son if you will, but I will still praise my God!! And I will do it in front of all of you, even if it is only in e-mail form, because I want to share with you how very good God is so that when you are in your very darkest valley, maybe you will say Diane made it. God healed her. I knew her before, I knew her during, and I know her now, and God is bigger than anything the devil can dish out, just as I am able draw that encouragement from my friend today! That is my prayer!!

I am not there yet. I still feel the shadow of death in this valley. It is still very painful for me. It still exhausts me and causes me so many tears. There are still so many firsts I have to go through, and I probably will for the next few years, but I will make it. God is good and God is faithful, that I know. The rest He will teach me as we go along.

Verse 6a
Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life

I believe that. I believe that even in the bad, there is good when I keep my eyes on God, and there will be that goodness and love all the days of my life. All the days I allow Him to lead me.

Verse 6b
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

Forever... that's a long, long, time. The house of the Lord is where I want to spend eternity. It's good to know that Phil is already there. That my friend's son is already there. I bet they know each other. My friend met Phil, and I look forward to meeting her son one day. I will tell him how his young life helped me while I was here. How even though he was only here for seven years and I never actually met him, he mattered to me. He helped me. I know I won't be the only one to express that to him.

Isaiah 49:13
Shout for joy, O heavens;
   rejoice, O earth
   burst into song, O mountains!
For the Lord comforts his people
   and will have compassion on his afflicted ones.
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God is our comfort and our refuge. Seek Him and find Him! You will find Him to be true!

Thank you to my friend for your wonderful example!
And Happy Birthday Gregory!!

Love, Diane