Needle in a Haystack

08/09/2004

The water is so clear, the sky is so blue, and the mountains that surround Lake Tahoe speak of God’s glory. As we sat on the sandy beach watching the swimmers in the water, we wondered what Chris (our son) was doing out by the buoy for so long. He seemed to be really enjoying himself until we heard his call to shore...what started out as an enjoyable swim had turned into a nightmare of sorts.

Having just been married one month and four days, he was just becoming accustomed to the wedding band on his left hand. Not being one to wear much jewelry, it was amazing to glance from time to time at that wedding ring on his finger...knowing he was proud to now call Holly his wife. They had joined us at the lake for the weekend, and it was good to be together. Then came the call..."I’ve lost my wedding ring, I need a mask!"

Our hearts sank, knowing how difficult it could be to find a ring even in that clear water. With a sandy bottom, it could disappear so quickly. Chris saw it come off, he watched as it dropped through about five feet of water to the bottom of the lake. He had even attempted to reach out and grab it on its way down, but to no avail. He dove to get it, but already, it had disappeared under the sand.

A mask was taken out to him, and the lifeguards on duty that day were nice enough to help in the search for the lost wedding band. It had to be there...Chris had seen right where it had landed, but still, no ring was found. He came in the 100 or so yards to shore, discouraged, upset and wondering how his new wife was going to react...

We came up with a plan to get a sieve from the place we were staying so Chris could sift through the sand. Out he went again, this time borrowing a new mask from another family on the beach that day, and also being joined by one of the gentlemen there who also had a snorkel. It was good Chris had support in the cold Lake Tahoe water as he dove again and again to the bottom looking for his lost ring. The sun started to dip in the evening sky and most of the swimmers had quit for the day. The lifeguards had left their posts, Chris continued on. It had to be there!

Finally, it was time to say, "Enough." The ring was not to be found, and with the chill of the water, it could have become dangerous if he continued searching. After having seen a man almost drown in two-foot waves due to cramping when we were in Cancun, we knew no ring was worth losing a life over. Chris walked back in to shore, carrying the sieves and the mask and a feeling of great disappointment having lost his very new wedding ring. His bride greeted him with love and support. There was nothing more that could be done...the ring was gone. It was time to go home, get warm, have a good dinner and enjoy being together.

Why do things like this happen? Oh sure, we know "why"...the water is cold, the hand shrinks and a ring that used to fit perfectly slips off and drops to the bottom of the lake. We can see it slipping away from us, we reach out and try to grab it before it gets too far, but we miss it and down it goes. In five feet of water it should not be a problem to retrieve it...in the middle of the lake, we would not even try. But after searching and searching for it, I said to Chris it was like looking for a needle in a haystack. He said it was like, "Looking for a needle in a haystack the size of Montana."

In everything there is a lesson to be learned, character that can be built and thankfulness for what we have despite what we have lost. As Holly said, she would rather have her husband, than have something happen to him in the search for his lost ring. We never know what the next minute can bring if we will not accept what is, and move on in our lives. As the gentleman with the snorkel came into shore, having given of his time and energy in the search, Chris was alone in the water. Had he cramped up, we knew we probably would not be able to get to him in time to save him. A day at the lake could have altered all of our lives forever. The ring may be lost, and we may wonder why God would allow that to happen, but what else had God saved us from when Chris and Holly were willing to let the ring go and instead embrace one another, before heading home?

As I slept that night, I woke up about 3:00 a.m. I don’t know if I had been dreaming about what had happened, but I know what God had placed in my thoughts upon awakening. There was a little glass picture that stood on the fireplace in the room we were sleeping in. On that glass picture were these words:

God grant me the serenity to accept
the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.

Many have heard or seen this prayer called the Serenity Prayer. I looked it up on the internet today, reading the full version of it and investigating where it had originated. There are theories as to the author etc...but no concrete evidence. It is widely used for Alcoholics Anonymous and other organizations like that. It is a prayer that I have known for many years but upon waking that night, it took on new meaning to me.

The ring was lost, that could not be changed and it needed to be accepted. Chris had had the courage to give it his best shot in finding it, but there came a time when wisdom must prevail. When it was time to know the difference between perseverance and acceptance. Chris made the comment that he was not going to let it wreck the weekend, and that is a character building statement. Did it ever enter our minds again? Of course it did, but as God’s Word says:

Fix your thoughts on what is true and honorable and right.
Think about things that are pure and lovely and admirable.
Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.
Keep putting into practice all you learned from me and heard
from me and saw me doing and the God of peace will be with you.
Philippians 4:8b-9

God never told us we would be without trials in this life, but He did promise us His peace through them. He has told us what to think about. I’m sure these words were not for when times are good, because those are the easy times to think about such things. The Apostle Paul was trying to encourage believers with those words when things were not so good.

Of course, there are much worse things than losing a wedding ring in a lake; I would be one of the first to admit that. What is a piece of jewelry compared to human life? But that does not mean things like this do not upset us and do not have the ability to ruin our days if we focus on them.

I heard that it’s the things that go wrong in our lives that we remember best. Perhaps that is true. I remember vacations we took, one in particular when we were traveling through Salt Lake City, Utah, when our car broke down. We were young, with one child, and we were delayed for a short time as repairs were made. But what I remember most was the gentleman who helped us. He needed to get home to his family, I think there was a celebration of some sort going on, but he took the time to help us get on our way so we could enjoy our vacation. I don’t remember so much the hassle of a broken down car as I remember the kindness that was shown to us.

I remember the Christmas Eve that Phil ended up with a fever while undergoing chemotherapy, which meant he had to be admitted to the hospital for antibiotics. I remember he was upset, but more than that, I remember the joy he experienced when we returned him to the hospital after he had gotten out on a pass for the evening. When he got back to his hospital bed around 11:30 p.m., there were gifts on his pillow and he was thrilled! I was truly touched by the kindness of those who had taken time out of their holiday plans to care for those who were in the hospital.

Just last week I was out on my motorcycle and I had come to a place in a long deserted road where I needed to make a U-turn. The weight of the bike got away from me as I slowly maneuvered it around and it dropped to its side. I did not have the strength to pick it up by myself, so I had placed a call to my husband Jim to come and "rescue me" but before he could get there a pick-up truck came by. Two young men asked if they could help and they stood the motorcycle back up for me before going on their way. Now, this was a deserted area because my bike was in the street for at least 25 minutes and no car needed to get around it. The pick-up truck was making a turn about ½ block away and saw my predicament, driving over to help me.

What we remember most times is not, or should not be, the "bad things" that happen, but the help that God sends when we most need it. Chris did not find his wedding ring, but what he did find were lifeguards willing to help in the search, a complete stranger not only willing to loan him a mask but also willing to go out into the very cold water at the end of his day and search along with Chris. When we first needed to get a mask to him, Holly borrowed one from someone else on the beach and as Chris waited for her to bring it out to him, she tried to get herself there are quickly as possible but was not "thrilled" with getting back into the cold water. A woman who was already swimming saw her predicament and offered to swim the goggles out to him...more kindness shown. Yes, we’ll remember the day Chris lost his ring, but I hope we also remember the day that we were not alone...God provided help when we needed it.

What about the ring though?
Why is it still at the bottom of the lake?
Why did God not answer our prayers of finding it?

Well, why did our car break down in Salt Lake City?
Why did Phil end up in the hospital on Christmas Eve?
Why did my bike fall over in the middle of a deserted street?

James 1:12 (NLT)
God blesses the people who patiently endure testing.
Afterward they will receive the crown of life that
God has promised to those who love him.

God knows we will have to patiently endure many things while we live in this world. He is not surprised by our trials, and we should not be either. If we’re looking for the perfect life without troubles, we should be looking ahead to heaven and all that awaits us there. For now:

Give all your worries and cares to God,
for he cares about what happens to you.
Be careful! Watch out for attacks from the
Devil, your great enemy. He prowls around
like a roaring lion, looking for some victim
to devour. Take a firm stand against him, and
be strong in your faith.
1 Peter 5:7-9 (NLT)

Was God in heaven watching Chris dive again and again for his ring? You bet He was! He saw it all, He heard our prayers, He cared deeply about what was happening, but He also knows that "...the Devil, your great enemy. He prowls around...looking for some victim to devour." God does not spare us from all tragedy, big or small, but what He will spare us from is the Devil devouring our lives in the trials.

Holly stood firm, she did not allow what had happened to devour her and disrupt her loving relationship with Chris. Chris stood firm, he did not allow the sinking feeling in his heart as he watched his ring drop to the bottom of the lake, to ruin the beautiful weekend God had provided. What the Devil meant for harm, God will use to build character, to strengthen relationships and to show His goodness in the hearts of others who step in to help when they were needed. God’s love is all around.

Whatever is good and perfect comes to us from God
above, who created all heaven’s lights.
James 1:17

The bad in this world belongs to one...the Enemy. The good in this world belongs to one, God. We can blame God for not being there when we need Him, for not answering our prayers when we call out to Him and even for allowing things in our lives that we see no reason for, but the bottom line becomes, will we see God in all our circumstances and will we watch for His many blessings through them?

Chris’ ring will never be found, by us that is. Someday, someone might be out swimming and happen upon it, and they will be thrilled at their discovery. Chris will never again look at Lake Tahoe and not think about his wedding ring of one month and four days...but time will have moved on and many things will have changed, and my prayer is that his faith will be strengthened during the years by watching God work through the bad and bring about the good. It will happen, it always does, we just miss it so much of the time because we are distracted from the good while we look too long at the bad. There comes a time to say, "Enough" and go on home, leaving what has happened behind us.

We had a great weekend, four generations of our new family together! Holly celebrated her birthday on Sunday, her first as a member of our family, and we all got to relax and enjoy the time together in the beautiful setting God provided at Lake Tahoe. I’m sure the Devil was not happy that there was not a big fight between the newlyweds...he was probably counting on it. I’m sure the Devil was disappointed that we continued to enjoy ourselves and celebrate...he probably had other plans for the rest of the weekend. With a focus on all that is good, and grateful hearts for the love that we share in the midst of the trials, the devil had to go on his way and find someone else to devour in this world. That’s right, he’s not giving up, not just yet, he still has time until Jesus comes back...he probably has a lot planned between now and then, but we don’t have to be a part of it. We can rise above it when love is our goal in life.

Chris will one day have a new ring, and in the future as he sits with his children, and even later his grandchildren, on his knee, he will tell them the story of when he and Holly were just newly married and he saw his wedding ring slip off his finger and drop to the sandy bottom of Lake Tahoe. He will perhaps tell them how his heart sank with it, but how their mother/grandmother loved him anyway and how grateful they were to just be together-- and how God has blessed their lives in so many ways since that day.

And we know that God causes everything to work together
for the good of those who love God and are called according
to his purpose for them. For God knew his people in advance,
and he chose them to become like his Son, so that his Son would
be the firstborn, with many brothers and sisters. And having chosen
them, he called them to come to him. And he gave them right standing
with himself, and he promised them his glory.
Romans 8:28-30 (NLT)

A weekend we will never forget, a ring that will never be found, and a love that will continue on through the years.

I’ll end this story with a part of Chris and Holly’s wedding song:

God has taught us how to love by sending us his Son
He calls us to love each other ‘til the day is done

Thanks for letting me share,

Diane