“Leave”

12/15/2004

The songs my brother and I are writing together are not simple messages, they are not just a gathering of words that sound good together, put to a beautiful melody and packaged up for those wanting to enjoy some “time away” from the stresses of this world. They are words that are to be lived by, digested and found to be true. As I think of the words to one of our songs this morning…it goes like this:

On my knees / head bowed in prayer / and still before you Lord
That’s where I’ll get to know You / that’s where my strength is stored

The reason those words are running through my head is because that is where I have to go, especially on a day like today. This is a day of unanswered questions, a day of no clear direction, a day when I must bow before my Lord and be still…

As I did that this morning, praying for direction, for wisdom, for our will to be aligned with God’s will, I knew I must ask a direct question of God, “What should we do?” The word, “Leave” came to me…no grandiose instructions as to where, a few indications as to when, but an unmistakable reason as to why…It was as if God was saying, “I fill you with My wisdom when you spend time with Me…it is no longer wise to remain here in this kind of weather.”

If you need wisdom—if you want to know what God
wants you to do—ask him, and he will gladly tell you.
He will not resent your asking. But when you ask him,
be sure that you really expect him to answer, for a
doubtful mind is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that
is driven and tossed by the wind. People like that should
not expect to receive anything from the Lord. They can’t
make up their minds. They waver back and forth in
everything they do. James 1:5-8 (NLT)

God said to, “Leave” Colorado. We are not sure where, we are not sure if it will mean that Jim must give up the job he has that has brought us here, we are not sure of anything except that we are sure that when God speaks, we are to listen and obey.

Being here in Colorado, in this climate, has been a challenge. Our truck, that Jim uses for work, is not four-wheel drive so it slips and slides much more on these icy/snowy roads than we would like it to. The clothing that Jim wears as he walks around in weather dipping into the teens, and sometimes even colder, is not sufficient to keep him warm. Our home, although winterized and keeping us quite comfortable, is also suffering from such chilly nights. Things just don’t function as they should when it’s 9 degrees out!! There are many indications that this is not the place to be any longer…not as the full onslaught of winter sets in.

It seems an easy enough conclusion to come to, but like all of life, it is not. There are things to consider…will there be an opening down south somewhere with this company so Jim can continue to work for them? Is that what God has for us or are we moving into a new phase in life, on a new path, one that requires even more steps of faith?

As I write this, Jim is calling his boss to tell him what we “must” do… we cannot be as “unsettled as a wave of the sea,” we must “make up our minds.” We are clear on that. The rest we are not clear on, but there is a sense of excitement because we know that God has told us what we should do, and He will provide. God is not required to give us all the reasons, He is not required to give us all the answers and completely clear directions about what comes next, but He will guide us each day…in His perfect timing and in His perfect way.

God took me back to one of my recent messages, “What Are We Missing?” It was as if He was saying; read through it again…I knew why when I got to this part of the message:

The billionaire was not testing his fear factor with this challenge, he was testing his ability to make a wise decision--to weigh the consequences, the risks, and then decide yea or nay. The contestant who refused went on to play the game, the contestant who made the foolish choice to be dropped over a waterfall was sent home. The game was over for him.

It seemed God was saying, “I know there is a certain fear of the unknown involved with telling Jim’s boss that it’s time to leave Colorado, not knowing what will happen with his job, but that is not what we are really working on here…we are working on wisdom. I am teaching you about My wisdom.”

As I read on further in that message, it said:

If we should do this, what is our earthly prize, the prize we get to enjoy while we are still on this earth… we are not to worry about anything but pray about everything and “If we do this, we will experience God’s peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand.” Phil. 4:7 (NLT)

I have not heard back from Jim yet, he probably has not gotten hold of his boss, but there is a deep sense of peace in me, and also an excitement for the unknown. We have learned that taking steps of faith never leaves us disappointed. Never. They only lead us in directions we could never have imagined and into a life that is filled with wonderment!

I was asked the recently if it was difficult when making all the decisions to move into an RV and do what we are doing? That was an easy question to answer. The answer was, “YES!” There were so many unknowns, so many questions, so many fears that we had to work through. And here we are, having lived in our home almost two years now, and we wouldn’t trade it for anything! God has never disappointed us, He has continually provided for us, and we have found great enjoyment in it. As everyone does, we still live each day not knowing what tomorrow will hold, but we have found that we need not worry about tomorrow, as God’s Word says. We may do this another 20 years, it may all end tomorrow, but it will all be in God’s perfect plan either way!

I believe God teaches us to trust Him, one day at a time. He doesn’t expect us to fully trust Him the day we receive Him into our hearts. That’s just not the way most human beings function. It is a daily process, just as it is with those we meet in this world. We have to get to know people, to find out what makes them tick, to find out about their character. When we do, we find out who we can trust, and who we can’t. It takes time.

I believe it’s the same with discovering God’s wisdom in our lives. It is not instantaneous, it is a daily process of being with Him, searching Him out, asking Him questions, and receiving His answers. I believe He wants us to know that life does not have to be complicated. It can be very simple when we discover that any answer to any question, even the most challenging, can be found on our knees. There is just something about bowing before our Creator that humbles the proudest heart. How can it not please our Father when we bow before Him and acknowledge Who He is, all that He has done and continues to do, and that we need Him…oh how we need Him! Can you imagine our Father turning His back on us when we are bowed before Him? I cannot!

And when we get on our knees before Him, and our Father speaks to us, something as simple as, “Leave,” what are we to do but obey Him? If we do not, I believe we will then be out from underneath the umbrella of His protection on our lives, experiencing difficulties we never needed to go through if we had only listened and obeyed Him. I don’t know what those might be, but I do know I’d rather not find out.

You used to live just like the rest of the world,
full of sin, obeying Satan, the mighty prince of
the power of the air. He is the spirit at work in
the hearts of those who refuse to obey God. All
of us used to live that way, following the passions
and desires of our evil nature.
Ephesians 2:2-3 (NLT)

This is not to say we won’t have difficulties even when we are in God’s will. Jim and I have known tremendous difficulties in dealing with Phil’s illness and eventual home-going. But through it all, we felt God’s protection, His peace and His help as we prayed and listened to our Father’s instructions on the journey.

In leaving Colorado, it’s not that God is saying, “If you leave, you will never have another difficult day in your life.” All He is saying is that this is the plan He has for us, and we should follow Him. When difficulties do arise, we will know Him well enough to know that He will be with us to help us through them, to give us His Godly wisdom to resolve them. We are not promised a trouble free life, but a spirit-filled life of joy and peace through the difficulties we must face when we listen and obey our Father.

I’m going to leave this message unfinished for now. Why? Because I don’t have an ending yet, I have not heard from Jim, we don’t know what his boss will say, we don’t know anything as yet…but I look forward with eager anticipation to what comes next.

He prayed, "O LORD, God of Israel, there is no God
like you in all of heaven and earth. You keep your
promises and show unfailing love to all who obey
you and are eager to do your will.
2 Chronicles 6:14 (NLT)

Stay tuned…

Part II:

Well, the verdict has been handed down…we are leaving Colorado without a job. There are no openings in the south, and in fact, many people from the south are having to travel up here to complete this work. It was not a happy day for Jim’s boss to know that one of his workers is leaving…but he took the news well, understanding the safety issues involved.

You may wonder, but what about those people who are coming to work this area, what about their safety? Why should we be “allowed” to leave, and they must come…? We are all given choices, and we all have free-will. God has given us that. If you were to ask them, I’m sure they would tell you they are not happy about being pulled out of a warm area and brought to snow and ice, but the decision to come here ultimately rests with them and the godly wisdom they are seeking in their decision making.

As I continued to pray about leaving here, I asked God for more confirmation that this decision was right. I sensed that God was asking me to go to the Psalms, and so I asked Him where I should turn? He led me to a card that is in my Bible, one that takes me through the Psalms in a year, a card that Pastor Dave made up about a year ago. I have carried it in my Bible ever since. I looked to December 1st, being that was the day’s date, and this is what it said:

I look to you for help, O Sovereign Lord.
You are my refuge; don’t let them kill me.
Psalm 141:8 (NLT)

I laughed out loud when I read this! So did Jim when I read it to him. What he found out when he called to tell his boss that we must leave here was that as of this week, they were going to start working six-day weeks! That would have just about killed Jim off! At this elevation, in this cold, on slippery, icy ground…when Jim heard this news, it was confirmation to him that it was time to leave. The neat thing is that in God’s perfect timing, Jim had already told his boss we must leave before receiving this news. Upon hearing this news, we would probably have then had to make the difficult decision to leave anyway, but since we’d already been told by God to leave, it was not difficult but only a confirmation that we had heard correctly.

It all sounds easy enough, except for one important fact…we leave here without employment, and we are not even sure where we are going. It seems as if God will tell us where when we “Hitch up the wagon and get out of Dodge,” as my brother Steve would say. (He’s a cowboy at heart.) On Saturday, we will hitch up our home to our truck, and head south, because at least we know that much. That’s where the warmer weather is! We have some ideas about where we may be going and why, but no confirmation on that yet…so stay tuned for “Part III” as I leave you with a page from Oswald Chambers, once again, it was on December 1st in his devotional, “My Utmost For His Highest.”

“When we choose deliberately to obey Him, then He will tax the remotest star and the last grain of sand to assist us with all His almighty power.”

Part III:

The saga continues, as we have now been offered a job in Phoenix, if we would like it…and many may think we are absolutely nuts, but “we would not like it.” Not now, because we now know, as best we can, that L.A. is to be our destination when we pull out of here on Saturday.

As the pieces to this puzzle come together, our heart’s desire is to be in L.A. in the coming months as the CD my brother and I have been working on goes into production. Is it any “accident” that this message started with the words to songs we are writing together? I think not! By being there, Jim will be able to join them on percussion and I will be able to assist my brother in any way I can with the songs God has given us!

God’s hand is upon all our lives, it’s our responsibility to feel His gentle nudging…and we have. Jim said, “Thank you, but no thank you to the job in Phoenix,” and we are confident that God will provide when we arrive in L.A. In fact right after Jim turned down the Phoenix job, we heard there is already a job possibility with a good friend of my brother’s there…this guy’s brother actually owns a company that does the exact type of work that Jim is doing here!! Imagine that!! We do not know yet if that is God’s plan for employment, but it is an interesting possibility!

Oh, and just to keep you abreast of the cold here in Colorado, we had a river running through our home yesterday as one of the hoses in our refrigerator developed a LEAK due to the cold, and water started pouring into our home out from under the refrigerator!! With a quick phone call to Jim, I rushed outside and turned off the water into our home, and then mopped up the lake that was forming by our front door from the river that was flowing! If we had not been home, I can’t even imagine the situation we would have had to deal with from this! Thank you God for allowing it to quickly be remedied and for the reminder that it is time to leave!

I imagine this story will be finished after we arrive in L.A. We are excited to be on our way! It’s fun sharing this with you as these events unfold!

Part IV:

We are leaving for L.A. in just a few hours! I called Jim yesterday to apologize for the leak…it dawned on me that shortly before our “river” through our home, I had been praying for God to “help us to know” that we were doing the right thing. When we developed a river in our home, it was obvious the cold was not good for our home! And then in telling our son Jimm about it, I realized how God had spared us. Because our home is not completely level at the moment, the water did not run into our carpeted area, but towards the front door, soaking the mat there and making a lake on the tile…God spared us the mess of a soaked carpet! Wow!

In talking this all over with God yesterday, I was asking Him why we are not given specific instructions as to where to go, what to do etc…it seemed He was reminding me, “What are you writing about?” I said, “Wisdom.” He was letting me know that godly wisdom comes from spending time with Him, and then we do not really need word-for-word, detailed descriptions of what He would have us do because He has placed His wisdom in us to help us make those decisions. That made sense to me! All signs point to L.A., for many reasons, and it would be a foolish decision to head to Phoenix.

The thing we have to remember is, godly wisdom is very different than worldly wisdom. Worldly wisdom would say, go for the security of a sure job, take the safe route…godly wisdom says “Follow Me. I have great things in store for you even if you cannot see it all just yet.” Godly wisdom most times looks foolish to the world, but it is not foolish to God because He knows the plans He has for us, for hope and for a future! (Jer. 29:11)

We could go to Phoenix and live a nice safe life, or we can go to LA. and see what God has waiting for us there! I believe it is going to be the beginning of something beyond our wildest dreams and expectations! I believe that’s what happens when we walk by faith into our futures! Is it easy? No! But it sure keeps life interesting!!

Show me where to walk, for I have
come to you in prayer…Teach me to
do your will, for you are my God.
May your gracious Spirit lead me
forward on a firm footing.
Psalm 143:8b & 10 (NLT)

Here we go…!!!!

Part V:

I have been waiting for a conclusion to this story so I can wrap it all up in a neat and pretty little package and deliver it to you…this morning I realized that is foolishness. There is no “ending” to this story. It is an never-ending story with the pages of the “book” being turned one day at a time…it will not have an ending until Jesus comes back, so I might as well wrap it up and deliver it to you all, as is, and get on with living the rest of this story out…

I will share with you what has happened up to this point, and then for those of you on this “journey” with us, we’ll just keep traveling along together…

We have arrived in sunny L.A. and are pretty much thawed out by now! We are parked in my brother’s church parking lot at the moment, thanking God for the comfort He allows us to live in, even in a parking lot! Our home is a blessing!

We have received many confirmations already that this is exactly where we are supposed to be. We have our own ideas about what we are doing here, but knowing God, we believe there is so much that has not yet been revealed. We are filled with a peace that could only come from God, and personally, I am so excited I can barely get to sleep at night. Oswald Chambers pegged my feelings this morning, so once again I will quote him because he seems to say so many things so well:

“My questions come whenever I cease to obey. When I have obeyed God, the problems never come between me and God, they come as probes to keep the mind going on with amazement at the revelation of God. Any problem that comes between God and myself springs out of disobedience; any problem, and there are many, that is along side me while I obey God, increases my ecstatic delight, because I know that my Father knows, and I am going to watch and see how He unravels this thing.”
(My Utmost For His Highest Dec. 14th)

Being here is not without its “problems.” We have no job, no permanent place to park our home and no completely sure direction about what we are to do--but in obedience it has become an “ecstatic delight” because we do know that God knows, and that He will “unravel this thing.” I have never been in such a position as this…not knowing and being this excited in the not knowing. In obedience, we are allowed the opportunity to watch God at work in so many details, and it is a delight!! When we have no clear plan, we become totally reliant on God’s plan and we begin to see the colors of life that get muddied when we think we are the one “creating the masterpiece.”

In reading Ephesians this morning, it said:

I pray that you will begin to understand the
incredible greatness of his power for us
who believe him.
Ephesians 1:19 (NLT)

There it is again, believe him! When we start to believe Him with all our hearts, not just believe in Him, it diminishes the importance of anything we think we are here to do on planet earth. I am realizing more and more that God doesn’t need anything from us, He is our Provider--we have nothing to offer Him except our hearts. Anything else we offer to Him, it is only because He has already given it to us in the first place.

As my brother and I work on these songs together and “offer” them to God, we have to realize that we only have them to offer to Him because He first gave them to us. In one of the latest songs, written just this week, it says in the chorus, “As long as we remember, it begins and ends with You.” That’s where our focus must always be!

When we said “good-bye” to Phil three years ago, we “gave” Phil back to God, having been allowed the wonderful opportunity of having him as our son in the first place! We were only offering back to God a precious gift that had been given to us. We were not given Phil because we deserved him, but because God loved us and blessed us with him.

We own nothing that God has not gifted to us…so what does He need that we have? Absolutely nothing!
But what is the only thing that He wants but will not take?
Our hearts! Fully! Completely!
And what does He do with our hearts when they are surrendered over to Him? He gives them back to us healed, restored, and fill with His joy and His peace!
What do we get by holding tightly to our hearts and closing them off to His ways? Emptiness…loneliness…pain…the list could go on and on…

A life of obedience is a life of a surrendered heart--and I’m not saying Jim and I have this all sewn up and in the bank…I’m saying that step by step we are seeing a better way of living out our days here on this earth and it truly seems to be working…just the way God describes in His Word that it will!! Imagine that?!!

There is a power at work on this earth that our minds just cannot comprehend, and it is available to all who “believe Him.” I laugh because I keep thinking, “Use the Force Luke, use the Force.” Star Wars could teach us a few things about trusting the power of the Holy Spirit that lives inside each believer!

In getting back to God’s lesson on wisdom during this transition in our lives, I’m wondering how this all ties together…but I believe it does. So let’s conclude since this is getting long here, even for me!

I have written these things to you because you
need to be aware of those who want to lead you
astray. But you have received the Holy Spirit, and
he lives within you, so you don’t need anyone to
teach you what is true. For the Spirit teaches you all
things, and what he teaches is true—not a lie. So
continue in what he has taught you, and continue
to live in Christ.
1 John 2:26-27 (NLT)

How did we get to L.A.?
Well, how did we get to Colorado, or Montana before that, or Nevada before that? By following the leading of the Holy Spirit to the best of our ability in knowing Him. And how does one do that? By “meditating on your majestic, glorious splendor and your wonderful miracles.” (Psalm 145:5 NLT)

To state it simply, it is a life of prayer. It is learning about God and His ways in being still with Him--One on one, day in and day out. By letting all of Him fill all of us, so that we cannot help but know what His wisdom would have us do, even when it seems foolish to the world. In that knowing, there is a peace that comes when there is still no “finished” painting before us. Whatever we do in life, wherever we go, we want to know it is the “right” thing to do. How do we do that? By using godly wisdom.

At this point in my life, this is my definition of using God’s Wisdom in making everyday decisions:

Realizing the Holy Spirit lives in me,
aligning my spirit with His,
becoming one in that alignment,
then following His guidance,
and resting in it.

It’s not really that difficult until the last step… “resting in it.” That is where we get messed up and stop listening, start panicking and making our own plans because God’s ways are taking too long or they don’t seem quite right, or how can this possibly be what God has for us? Look how we’re suffering here!

Well, none of us knows exactly what “God has for us,” but we can know God has us in His loving care and He will not abandon us…not ever! I like to say, He will not “smite” us because He can see into our hearts and He knows if our only desire is to follow Him. The question becomes for me, “If Jesus comes back right now, will I be able to face Him with confidence that where I am and what I am doing is in accordance with His will?” If my heart believes that I can, then how can I question it any more than that, even if it ends up being a mistake? Jesus came to forgive our sins because we are sinners, and we make a lot of mistakes, but God is not out to get us every time we make a wrong move, He is out to bless us through His Son when we believe Him!! I love that! He only wants our love-- we need to leave the perfection part where it belongs, with His Son, and start living the abundant life, free of fear, that has been offered to us! If we head off in the wrong direction from time to time, God will provide for that also as a good Shepherd does, gently nudging His sheep back towards the right path.

We will still make mistakes, we will miss God’s perfect direction more than once, there will even be times when we will still get confused, but if we keep bringing our hearts back to God, back to His throne room, stepping back into His presence, “He will shower His kindness on us, along with all wisdom and understanding.” (Eph. 1:8)

God’s wisdom does not have to be a mystery just because we live in these fleshly bodies. We are filled with His Spirit, let’s use Him and not let Luke Skywalker be the only one with a “force” within. God’s “force” will lead and direct and guide us through each day!! Then living in the unknown, in the periods of questions without answers, we will have the only answer we really need, “God knows.” We can rest in that!

Enjoying the warmth of the Son that shines here in southern California,

Diane